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Be reasonably nice to yourself and others.
What is kindness and being reasonably nice?
For me, kindness is about being giving and generous with good deeds. To use the ability to see the benefit of others. It is also about showing empathy and consideration. Finally, it is about having an optimistic view of people. Preferably with a belief that most people are honest, decent and credible.
Being reasonably nice is that kind people have an ability to wear themselves out. They give so much kindness to others that they forget themselves. The energy and the hours of the day are finite. So keep in mind that you also need recovery to get balance in your life.
Research show that if you are kind to others they to will be more friendly. Your health, both physical and mental, is strengthened by Cortisol going down and Oxytocin going up. If you want to know more, search on names like Martin Seligman, Barbara Fredrickson, Sonja Lyubomirsky and Stephen Post. You can also seek inspiration in the article Associations of ikigai as a positive psychological factor with all-cause mortality and cause-specific mortality among middle-aged and elderly Japanese people: findings from the Japan Collaborative Cohort Study1 where some eastern ideas for a longer life with sustainable health is discussed.
This way you show kindness and being reasonably nice!
Test these three exercises everyday
- Look yourself in the mirror and say something nice about yourself. Keep an eyecontact while saying it.
- Testa kärleksfull vänlighet (loving kindness), en meditation för att stärka dina relationer till andra.
- Train being reasonably nice by saying no with thought through arguments why. Good if it something you cannot stand behind.
Always be kind to yourself and see to that you get some Physical and mental exercise regardless of which items you test in the list above.
Share praise and affirmation with others.
What is appreciation and what is praise and affirmation?
The short answer to appreciation is approval and gratitude for something you have such as family, home, job or education. Praise and affirmation is more about giving a verbal reward and reinforcing a behavior.
Again, to link to research, there are many reports that have shown how important it is to be on both sides, ie to be able to show appreciation and give praise as well as to do something that is appreciated by others or receive praise. and be confirmed. There are thoughts in science that there can be a positive spiral and that these positive emotions can attract more positive behaviors and strengthen both relationships. Something that leads to a stronger mental and physical health.
It is important that you are genuine when you show appreciation, avoid idleness so the recipient feels that there is care behind it. Same with praise and confirmation, try to get what was good, why you think it and what positive emotions it evokes in you. It will have a double effect on both yourself and the other person (who may be you).
An article if you want to read more about the effect of, for example, gratitude is Giving thanks can make you happier2 a good start and then you can read further in A new perspective on the social functions of emotions: Gratitude and the witnessing effect.
Here is a way to show appreciation, praise and affirmation!
Test these three exercises everyday:
- Look in the mirror and praise yourself for a good thing you have done. Look into your eyes when saying it and be genuine in what say.
- Acknowledge and praise someone with a compliment, and remember that the inside is as important to show appreciation to as the outside.
- Listen without being judgmental, try to only confirm what the person is saying.
Incentivize others to harness their strengths.
What is encouragement and incentivizing others?
It is a strength-based approach to achieving positive results. For me, it is about finding ways to find our own and common actions together that give a feeling of pride, success and happiness.
This way you show encouragement!
This can be a little trickier as it may require you to know the person/persons you are going to practice on so that you give a genuine impression.
- Take up a hobby, something you have done earlier in your life that you feel there is room for again in life.
- Show that you really see your fellow human beings and encourage them to use one of several strengths and good behaviors you have seen in them.
- Encourage good choices and behaviors. Think that small things that are achievable and sustainable are sometimes better than the big life-changing and sometimes ill-considered choices.
As important as everything else, it is important to Accept encouragement!
As you can see, each list begins with at least one exercise where you are the main character, my thought is that you are the most important person in your life in this context.
It is good for your self-esteem, your self-compassion and your self-image if you show that you care about yourself and others. You will feel a little better mentally, you will also make it easier for others to feel better when you use your emotional intelligence and the strengths it brings.
Finally, I scratch the surface and the above and suggestions to make your everyday life a little more positive. If you go to treatment with a psychologist, therapist, doctor or other caregiver, I think you should check with them first if it is ok to try the above.
|Footnote Title||Footnote Description|
|1Associations of ikigai as a positive psychological factor with all-cause mortality and cause-specific mortality among middle-aged and elderly Japanese people: findings from the Japan Collaborative Cohort Study||https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19539820/|
|2Giving thanks can make you happier||https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier|